As always i'm totally sloppy with the last day of any competition i have been writing about. So this is not exception.
It must be the party bit that confuses me, and it takes me few days to get to remember my name again, and who i am, and especially that i have a blog to update every day for the rest of my life, which sounds even scarier than being married.
And about marriage, guess what.
I actually did find a husband!!
I woke up the next morning with my wedding noseclip superglued to my nose, which by the way is still there, and a husband next to me.
I don't know how that happened, but let me tell you that I'm aware that no sane person on this planet would (and should) marry me, which is basically the proof that the guy is completely crazy.
But hey, now it's done, so i guess my husband hunt is over. Which makes me sad, and i'm gonna miss it.
And here the wedding ceremony, celebrated by Rob the King.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j-M057oi-Q
However, wasn't this about TD and all the amazingly useless freedivers that have been defying death during the most challenging day, number 3, where you have to propel yourself to the deepest abyss without the use of any device, and come back alive?
So here you get the result list again,
And you will see how the Israelis should start training seriously and quit with their disco breaks and fizzy bubblerh, because it's definitely not helping their performance.
This time John (who now everybody calls "husband") found the tag and finally got his first white card. We showed him the tag before his dive, so that he hopefully could remember how it looked like when he got to the plate, provided that his short term memory would stay switched on during the whole descent, which was unlikely. We wanted to drop one with a big "TAG" written on it, but we forgot, so we could only hope for the best.
For once in his life Mike actually got close to the plate enough to touch it, which i found very impressive. And he did that without the help of his giant monoflipper.
I'm aware I'm a bit harsh with him sometimes, and somebody might think I don't like the guy. Quite the opposite: despite being a chicken he's actually a nice and funny guy, who survived one of my instructor courses (respect!), and especially who arranged and brought most of the prizes for the winners of TD. I don't know where he got them from, probably he stole them, because let's be honest, who would want to sponsor Mike with anything?
Here's the proof of our friendship. See, i'm even smiling.
Marek made me proud again (and he'd better not disappoint me if he doesn't want to get fired) with a very nice 63 m.
And Matt, who you can admire here below in all his gracefulness, despite the massive drag created by his noseclip, made it safe to 70 and back, setting a very respectable polish record.
Rob and Alexey should have got the prize for the biggest morons of the competition, since they did 2 awesome dives, and not only got 10 points off for not letting go of the rope early enough (which is the stupidest beginner mistake you can make at a comp), but also missed the chance to set 2 national records.
Gordon also joined the moronic club, for doing a beautiful 50m, coming up, taking of his goggles, saying "THERE WAS NO TAG", and then completing the SP. Now you tell me, how stupid was that? Very. This is why we gave him a red card.
Karsten, who you see here above looking stupid, just chickened out at 17m and therefore deserves no mention here, even though i like the guy and the way he's helpful with everybody, especially the losers (but we're not here to speak nicely about people, so let's carry on).
But the best was Roman, the author of "the big black gay jewish dragon and the donut princess" novel, who added some excitement to the show with a black out on a silly 40m dive when he's been below 80 few times (ok, he had his giant monoflipper then), and once or twice he even made it back awake.
Honestly I was expecting something dodgy to happen, since he had a black out also the day before, and i told the safety divers to be ready to get him.
I did the same before Flavia's dive (and she also announced 40) and she switched off few meters below the surface. She had a very funky one, and it was obvious that she was having the best dream of her life. I'm sure she was more pissed off about waking up so early than about the red card she got.
Note that the Shisha team (which was obviously Marek, Roman and Flavia) got 3 back outs out of 9 dives, which is impressive, so everybody got to the amazing and absolutely unforeseen conclusion that smoking shisha is not good for freediving.
Thanks shisha team for sacrificing your lives to science so that the rest of us can become better freedivers.
The women did well, and few NR were broken:
Alana (who you see here below, doing what I like to do best, which is giving the finger to Mike) with a 23m dive;
Agata with 36m; our blond Wendy with 45m; Jarmila with an impressive 52; and Jana, with a even more impressive 53m.
So, after the last dive, we took the pyramid in, drank a coffee, peeled off the last burnt bits of skin that was left on our faces after 7 days in the sun, and went home: I updated the blog, while Lotta was supposed to put the final results together.
And here something went wrong. Maybe some of her coffee leaked in between her few neurons interfering with the cerebral transmission, or maybe is simply the senility: however, she managed to fuck up the overall women results.
So, we all happily go to the party, and before everybody was completely drunk we managed to do the prize ceremony, announcing Liv as the bronze medal winner, and giving her a beautiful mask. Now unfortunately for Liv, she was behind Jana of 1 point, which means that Jana was third, while Liv was only fourth…
Nobody realized until the day after, but when we tried to get hold of Liv to get our (or Jana) stuff back, she did a runner and tried to fly back to uk before we could get to her. Which didn't work out since we sent the egyptian secret police behind her, which is world famous for its efficiency, so they found out all about her escaping plan, stopped her and recovered the medal (not the mask, because they are not trained for multitasking).
Here you can see Liv with her misleading angel face. Don't trust her, she's bad!!!
And below you see Jana, surfacing from one of her successful dives. She does look bad, and she probably is, but at least she didn't try to steal anything.
And here Jana with the rest of her winning team:
So in conclusion, apart all the bullshit, we would like to:
-thank Mike from the bottom of Lotta's heart (I don't have one) for the funkiest prizes from suunto, technisub, neptune wetsuits.
-thank Elios for giving us some free neoprene, the puking bag for George, and lots of hats.
-apologize with Jana for the fuck up. Hopefully we will be able to send her the medal soon.
I would like to say something about the party, but unfortunately I have memories only until the wedding, after which somebody unplugged me and my files have gone forever. Which happened to a lot of other people, since at some point there was a bunch of us (namely Lotta, the Husband, Roman, Wendy, Matt, Betti, Agata) lying on the ground (half of us on top of Husband because he's big and comfortable), while Roman was reading for us the story of the gay dragon while sucking on Lotta's dirty toes.
If somebody have pictures, please send them to me.
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